The Secret To Relationships



The Secret To Relationships



MARIE DIAMOND

FENG SHUI CONSULTANT, TEACHER,
AND SPEAKER

The Secret means that we are creators of our
 Universe, and that every wish that we want to create
 will manifest in our lives. Therefore, our wishes, thoughts,
 and feelings are very important because they will manifest.

 One day I went into the home of an art director, a very famous
 film producer. In every corner he had this beautiful image of a
 naked woman draped with a fabric, kind of turning away as if
 she were saying, "I don't see you." I said to him, "I think you 
might have trouble in your romance." And he said, "Are you 
clairvoyant?" "No, but look. In seven places, you have exactly
 that same woman." He said, "But I love that kind of painting.
 I painted it myself." I said, "That's even worse because you
 put all your creation and creativity in it."



                                                  The Secret to Relationships 114
 He's a gorgeous-looking man with all these actresses around 
him because that's the work he does, and he doesn't have any
 romance. I asked him, "What do you want?" "I want to date 
three women a week." I said, "OK, paint it. Paint yourself with 
three women, and hang it in every corner of your living space." 

Six months later I saw him and asked, "How is your love
 life?" "Great! Women call me, they want to date me."
 "Because that's your wish," I said. He said, "I feel great. I 
mean, for years I did not have a date and now I have three
 dates a week. They're fighting over me." "Good for you," 
I said. Then he told me, "I really want to stabilize. I want 
marriage now, I want romance." I said, "Well, then paint it."
 He painted a beautiful romantic relationship, and a year later
 he got married, and he's very happy.

 This is because he put another wish out. He wished it in 
himself for years without it happening because his wish could
 not manifest. The outer level of himself—his house—was 
contradicting his wish all the time. So if you understand this
 knowledge, you just start playing with it. 

Marie Diamond's story of her client is a perfect demonstration of
 how Feng Shui reflects the teachings of The Secret. It illustrates how
 our thoughts create powerfully when we put them into action. Any
action we take must be preceded by a thought. Thoughts create the
 words we speak, the feelings we feel, and our actions. Actions are
particularly powerful because they are thoughts that have caused
us to act.



                                                 The Secret to Relationships 115
 We may not even realize what our innermost thoughts are, but we
 can see what we have been thinking by looking at the actions we
have taken. In the story of the film producer, his innermost thoughts
were reflected in his actions and surroundings. He had painted
many women, all turning away from him. Can you see what his
 innermost thoughts were? Even though his words were saying he
 wanted to date more women, his innermost thoughts did not reflect
that in his paintings. By deliberately choosing to change his actions,
 it caused him to focus his entire thought on what he wanted. With
 such a simple shift, he was able to paint his life and call it into exist-
ence through the law of attraction.

When you want to attract something into your life, make sure your
 actions don't contradict your desires. One of the most wonderful
 examples of this is given by Mike Dooley, one of the teachers fea-
tured in The Secret, in his audio course, Leveraging the Universe and
Engaging the Magic. It is a story of a woman who wanted to attract
her perfect partner into her life. She had done all the right things:
She got clear about what she wanted him to be like, made a detailed
 list of all of his qualities, and visualized him in her life. Despite
doing all these things, there was no sign of him.

Then one day as she arrived home and was parking her car in the
middle of her garage, she gasped as she realized that her actions
were contradicting what she wanted. If her car was in the middle
 of the garage, there was no room for her perfect partner's car! Her
actions were powerfully saying to the Universe that she did not
believe she was going to receive what she had asked for. So she
immediately cleaned up her garage and parked her car to one side,



                                                 The Secret to Relationships 116
leaving space for her perfect partner's car on the other side. She
then went into her bedroom and opened her wardrobe, which was
jammed full of clothes. There was no room for her perfect partner's
clothes. So she moved some of her clothes to make space. She had
 also been sleeping in the middle of her bed, and so she began sleep-
ing on "her" side, leaving space for her partner.

This woman related her story to Mike Dooley over a dinner, and sit-
ting next to her at the table was her perfect partner. After taking all
of these powerful actions and acting as if she had already received
her perfect partner, he arrived in her life and they are now happily
married.

Another simple example of "acting as if" is a story of my sister
 Glenda, who is the production manager of the film The Secret. She
 was living and working in Australia, and she wanted to move to
 the United States and work with me in our U.S. office. Glenda knew
 The Secret very well, and so she was doing all the right things to
bring forth what she wanted, but months were passing by and she
 was still in Australia.

Glenda looked at her actions and realized she was not "acting as
 if" she was receiving what she had asked for. So she began to take
 powerful actions. She organized everything in her life for her de-
parture. She canceled memberships, gave away things she would
not need, and she got her suitcases out and packed them. Within
 four weeks, Glenda was in the United States working out of our
U.S. office.



                                                The Secret to Relationships 117
Think about what you have asked for, and make sure that your
 actions are mirroring what you expect to receive, and that they're
 not contradicting what you've asked for. Act as if you are receiv-
ing it. Do exactly what you would do if you were receiving it
today, and take actions in your life to reflect that powerful expec-
tation. Make room to receive your desires, and as you do, you are
sending out that powerful signal of expectation. 

Your Job  Is You


LISA NICHOLS

Inside relationships it's important to first understand who's 
coming into the relationship, and not just your partner. You 
need to understand yourself first.


 JAMES RAY

How can you ever expect anyone else to enjoy your company
 if you don't enjoy your own company? And so again, the law 
of attraction or The Secret is about bringing that into your 
life. You 've got to get really, really clear. Here's the question I
 would ask you to consider: Do you treat yourself the way you
 want other people to treat you ?

 When you do not treat yourself the way you want others to treat
you, you can never change the way things are. Your actions are
your powerful thoughts, so if you do not treat yourself with



                                                  The Secret to Relationships 118
 love and respect, you are emitting a signal that is saying you are
not important enough, worthy enough, or deserving. That sig-
nal will continue to be broadcast, and you will experience more
 situations of people not treating you well. The people are just
 the effect. Your thoughts are the cause. You must begin to treat
 yourself with love and respect, and emit that signal and get on
 that frequency. Then the law of attraction will move the entire
Universe, and your life will be full of people who love and re-
spect you.

Many people have sacrificed themselves for others, thinking when
they sacrifice themselves they are being a good person. Wrong! To
sacrifice yourself can only come from thoughts of absolute lack,
 because it is saying, "There is not enough for everyone, so I will go
without" Those feelings do not feel good and will eventually lead
to resentment. There is abundance for everybody and it is each
person's responsibility to summon their own desires. You cannot
 summon for another person because you cannot think and feel for
 another. Your job is You, When you make feeling good a priority,
that magnificent frequency will radiate and touch everyone close
 to you.


DR. JOHN GRAY

You become the solution for you. Don't point to another 
person and say, "Now you owe me and you need to give me 
more." Instead, give more to yourself. Take time off to give to
 yourself, and in a sense to fill yourself up to fullness, to where
 now you can overflow in giving.



                                                                       The Secret to Relationships 119
"To acquire love... fill yourself up with it until
 you become a magnet."
                     Charles Haanel 


Many of us were taught to put ourselves last, and as a consequence
we attracted feelings of being unworthy and undeserving. As those
 feelings lodged within us, we continued to attract more life situa-
tions that had us feel more unworthy and not enough. You must
change that thinking.

 "Undoubtedly to some, the idea of giving so
 much love to self will seem very cold, hard and
unmerciful. Still this matter may be seen in a
different light, when we find that 'looking out for
 Number One,' as directed by the Infinite, is really
looking out for Number Two and is indeed the
only way to permanently benefit Number Two."
              Prentice Mulford


Unless you fill yourself up first, you have nothing to give anybody.
 Therefore it is imperative that you tend to You first. Attend to your
joy first. People are responsible for their own joy. When you tend
 to your joy and do what makes you feel good, you are a joy to be
 around and you are a shining example to every child and every
person in your life. When you are feeling joy you don't even have
 to think about giving. It is a natural overflow.



                                                                        The Secret to Relationships 120
LISA NICHOLS

I got into many relationships expecting my partner to show 
me my beauty, because I didn't see my own beauty. When I
 was growing up, my heroes or my "she-roes" were the Bionic
 Woman, Wonder Woman, and Charlie's Angels. And while
 they're wonderful, they didn't look like me. It wasn't until I 
fell in love with Lisa—I fell in love with my mocha skin, my
 full lips, my round hips, my curly black hair—it wasn't until
 that happened that the rest of the world was able to fall in love 
with me as well

The reason you have to love You is because it is impossible to feel
good if you don't love You. When you feel bad about yourself, you
are blocking all the love and all the good that the Universe has for
you.

 When you feel bad about yourself it feels as though you are suck-
ing the life out of you, because all of your good, on every single
 subject—including health, wealth, and love—is on the frequency of
 joy and feeling good. The feeling of having unlimited energy, and
 that amazing feeling of health and wellness, are all on the frequency
of feeling good. When you don't feel good about You, you are on
 a frequency that is attracting more people, situations, and circum-
stances that will continue to make you feel bad about You.

You must change your focus and begin to think about all the things
that are wonderful about You. Look for the positives in You. As you
 focus on those things, the law of attraction will show you more
 great things about You. You attract what you think about. All you



                                                                        The Secret to Relationships 121
have to do is begin with one prolonged thought of something good
 about You, and the law of attraction will respond by giving You
more like thoughts. Look for the good things about You. Seek and
 ye shall find!


BOB PROCTOR 

There's something so magnificent about you. I have been
 studying me for forty-four years. I wanna kiss myself
 sometimes! Because you're going to get to love yourself. I'm 
not talking about conceit I'm talking about a healthy respect
 for yourself And as you love yourself, you'll automatically
 love others. 


 MARCI SHIMOFF

In relationships we're so used to complaining about other
 people. For instance, "My coworkers are so lazy, my husband 
makes me so mad, my children are so difficult." It's always
 focusing on the other person. But for relationships to really 
work, we need to focus on what we appreciate about the other
 person, not what we're complaining about. When we're 
complaining about those things we're only getting more of
 those things. 

Even if you're having a really hard time in a relationship-
things aren't working, you're not getting along, someone's in 
your face—you still can turn that relationship around. Take a 
piece of paper, and for the next thirty days sit down and write
 all the things that you appreciate about that person. Think 
about all the reasons that you love them. You appreciate their



                                                 The Secret to Relationships 122
 sense of humor, you appreciate how supportive they are. And 
what you'll find is that when you focus on appreciating and
 acknowledging their strengths, that's what you'll get more of,
 and the problems will fade away.


 LISA NICHOLS

Oftentimes you give others the opportunity to create your 
happiness, and many times they fail to create it the way you
 want it. Why? Because only one person can be in charge of 
your joy, of your bliss, and that's you. So even your parent, 
your child, your spouse—they do not have the control to 
create your happiness. They simply have the opportunity to 
share in your happiness. Your joy lies within you. 

All your joy is on the frequency of love—the highest and the most
 powerful frequency of all. You can't hold love in your hand. You
can only feel it in your heart. It is a state of being. You can see evi-
dence of love being expressed through people, but love is a feeling,
 and you are the only one that can radiate and emit that feeling of
love. Your ability to generate feelings of love is unlimited, and when
you love you are in complete and utter harmony with the Universe.
 Love everything you can. Love everyone you can. Focus only on
 things you love, feel love, and you will experience that love and joy
 coming back to you—multiplied! The law of attraction must send
you back more things to love. As you radiate love, it will appear
as though the entire Universe is doing everything for you, moving
every joyful thing to you, and moving every good person to you.
In truth, it is. 


        Secret Summaries


• When you want to attract a relationship, make sure your thoughts,
 words, actions, and surroundings don't contradict your desires.

 • Your job is you. Unless you fill yourself up first, you have nothing to
give anybody.

 • Treat yourself with love and respect, and you will attract people who
show you love and respect.

 • When you feel bad about yourself, you block the love and instead you
attract more people and situations that will continue to make you
feel bad about you.

• Focus on the qualities you love about yourself and the law of attra-
tion will show you more great things about you.

 • To make a relationship work, focus on what you appreciate about
the other person, and not your complaints. When you focus on the
 strengths, you will get more of them.




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