No Boundary || Inner Engineering

No Boundary

Once it happened…An argument arose one evening between a husband and wife. The argument was over the burning question: who should close the front door today? 

Not a simple question. And not a laughing matter. These are very serious issues in domestic situations. Who should close the door today, who should switch off the garden lights this evening, who should take the dog for a walk— these are questions that can drive couples to divorce. 

The argument grew more and more heated. The wife decided, “Every day, it is I who in the end accepts defeat. Today, I am not going to give in.” The husband also grew equally determined. “She pushes me around all the time. I am not going to give in to this woman today, no matter what.” 

It was one of those grand rows. Now, every home has its own system of resolving these arguments. In this family, when confronted by an impasse, both husband and wife would sit silently; the person who uttered the first word would have to go and close the door. 

The two sat in stony silence. Minutes ticked on into hours. Dinner was on the table. If the husband said he wanted to eat, he would have to close the door. If the wife proposed dinner, she would have to close the door. 

Midnight. They were still sitting. A few rogues were passing by on the street. They saw the doors of the house open, lights on, no party, nothing. Everything was quiet. They wanted to see what was going on, so they looked into the sitting room. They saw two people sitting there, steadfastly silent. 

The rogues looked at the silent couple. They were a little surprised. They decided to take a chance. They helped themselves to a few valuables in the sitting room. The two people said nothing. The rogues grew amused. Emboldened, they sat at the dining table and served themselves dinner. The couple sat heroically silent. 

The rogues were hugely tickled. What the hell was happening here? They grew bolder still. One of them kissed the wife. Still, the couple didn’t utter a word. The one who spoke would have to close the door. The stakes were too high. Neither could risk it. 

Now the rogues got a bit spooked. They decided it was time to leave this strange household. But before they left, they wanted to leave their mark. They decided to shave off the husband’s moustache. One of them approached him, razor in hand. 

Then the husband finally spoke. He said, “Okay, damn it, I’ll close the door!” 

Perhaps the scenarios are different, but are there not situations in your life that hinge on a similar question: who’s responsible? 

Who is responsible? 

It’s a big question. Let’s put the question more precisely: who is responsible for the way you are right now? 

Your genes? Your father? Your mother? Your wife? Your husband? Your teacher? Your boss? Your mother-in-law? God? The government? All of the above? 

The condition is a pervasive one. Ask someone, “Why are you in this situation?” Pat comes the response, “You know, when I was a child, my parents…” The same old story, with just a few variations. 

There is an ancient science of how to create misery, and one in which human beings need no encouragement whatsoever. There is almost no one who is not an expert. Passing the buck is what you do in a hundred different ways each day. You have collectively refined the old blame game into a fine art. 

The quality of our lives is determined by our ability to respond to the varied complex situations that we encounter. If the ability to respond with intelligence, competence, and sensitivity is compromised by a compulsive or reactive approach, we are enslaved by the situation. It means we have allowed the nature of our life experience to be determined by our circumstances, not by us. 

Being fully responsible is to be fully conscious. What you consider to be your body is what you have gathered through ingestion. What you consider to be your mind is what you have gathered through the five senses. What is beyond that— which you did not gather—is who you are. Being alive is being conscious. Everybody is conscious to some degree, but when you touch the dimension beyond body and beyond mind, you have touched that which is the very source of consciousness. You realize then that the entire universe is conscious. You inhabit a living cosmos. 

The physical and psychological dimensions belong to the realm of polarities— pain-pleasure, love-hate, masculine-feminine, and so on. If you have one, the other is bound to follow. But when you move into the fundamental dimension of who you are, you are beyond all polarities. You now become blissful by your own nature. You are the master of your own destiny. 

It is time to reclaim for ourselves the extraordinary transformative power of this single word: responsibility. Apply it to your life, and watch the magic unfold. 

Let us settle what we mean by the word, at the start. “Responsibility” is a much misunderstood term. It has been used so widely and indiscriminately that it has lost much of its inner voltage. Responsibility does not mean taking on the burdens of the world. It does not mean accepting blame for things you have done or not done. It does not mean living in a state of perpetual guilt. 

Responsibility simply means your ability to respond. If you decide, “I am responsible,” you will have the ability to respond. If you decide, “I am not responsible,” you will not have the ability to respond. It is as simple as that. All it requires is for you to realize that you are responsible for all that you are and all that you are not, all that may happen to you and all that may not happen to you. 

This is not a mind game. This is not a self-help strategy for easy living. This is not a philosophical theory. This is a reality. Your physical existence is possible only because of your body’s seamless ability to respond to the entire universe. If your body wasn’t responding, you wouldn’t be able to exist for a moment. Do you see that? 

What the trees around you are exhaling, you are inhaling right now; what you are exhaling, the trees are inhaling at this very moment. This transaction is ongoing. Whether you are aware of it or not, one half of your pulmonary system is hanging up there right now on a tree! You have never experienced this interdependence; you have probably, at the most, thought about it intellectually. But if you had experienced this connection, would anyone have to tell you, “Plant trees, protect the forests, save the world”? Would it even be necessary? 

Taking responsibility is not a convenient philosophy to reconcile you to the way things are. It is simply waking up to reality. This ability to respond to the entire universe is already a physical reality. It is only your thoughts and emotions that need to become conscious of the fact. 

Suppose something goes wrong in your office. Perhaps you think it was due to a particular colleague’s ineptitude. You could haul her up, lose your temper, fire her. Your blood pressure is likely to rise; the office atmosphere will be vitiated; the aftereffects of your rage will probably be felt by you and your fellow workers for days and weeks after the incident; you will probably have to work particularly hard at restoring the peace and reestablishing a situation of mutual trust. 

There is another choice. You could simply see the situation the way it is and take responsibility for it. Taking responsibility is not accepting blame instead of assigning it. It simply means consciously responding to the situation. Once you take responsibility, you will invariably start exploring ways to address the situation. You will look for solutions. 

If you are frequently in this mode, your ability to craft your life situations will keep enhancing itself. With this enhanced competence to deal with life and its multiple complexities, you begin to rise to positions of possibility and power. If you assume absolute responsibility within yourself for all that is around you, you will become the center of any situation at home, work, or even the universe. Since you become indispensable to these situations, there is no sense of insecurity or incompleteness within you anymore. 

Only if you realize you are responsible do you have the freedom to create yourself the way you want to be, not as a reaction to the situations in which you exist. Reactivity is enslavement. Responsibility is freedom. When you are able to create yourself the way you want, you can create your life the way you want as well. Your outer life may not be a hundred percent in your control, but your inner life always will. 

On the other hand, the first reaction—anger—usually provokes unintelligent action. Anger is fundamentally self-defeating. If you look at your life closely, you will find that you have done the most idiotic and life-negative things when you were angry. Above all, you were working against yourself. If you work against yourself, if you sabotage your own well-being, you are obviously choosing unintelligence as a way of life. 

I am not propounding a moral argument here. I am not telling you that you should not lose your temper because it is ethically wrong. If anger is a pleasant experience, blow your top. What’s the problem? The point is it is singularly unpleasant—for you and for those at the receiving end. It is also counterproductive and therefore inefficient. 

I am not offering a rage-control or anger management strategy either. When I first came to the United States, I heard everybody talking about “stress management.” It puzzled me. Why would anybody want to manage stress? I always thought we managed the things that are precious to us—our money, our business, our family. It took me time to see that people have assumed that stress is an inevitable part of their lives! They do not see that it is entirely self-created and self-inflicted. Once you take charge of your inner life, there is no such thing as stress. 

The point is that anger is rooted in your false perception that you can change the situation by losing your temper with it. But your life experience tells you time and again that the reverse is true, that you can never change any situation for the better by forsaking your sense and intelligence. You only mess up your situations by getting angry. Once you see that clearly, you’ve taken the first step toward change. 

Besides, there is substantial medical and scientific evidence to prove that in a state of anger, you are literally poisoning your system. This can be verified with something as simple as a blood test. When you are angry, your very chemistry is altered, and your system turns toxic. Intense activity and sleep are times when this chemical mess can undo itself. But if you are in frequent states of rage, you are heading toward physical and psychological disaster. There is no doubt about this. 

There is a commonly held belief that rage produces results; that nothing happens in the world without the adrenaline rush of anger. The iconic figure of the Cuban revolution, Che Guevara, famously said, “If you tremble with indignation at every injustice, you are a comrade of mine.” Perhaps that is true. But in rage, you become one with a group; out of rage, you become one with the universe. 

Once it happened…A gentleman carrying an infant was traveling from London to Bristol on a train. Another gentleman entered the compartment, dumped his two huge suitcases, and sat beside the first. 

As you know, Englishmen don’t immediately speak to each other. So, the first gentleman waited very politely for a while. Then he turned to the second passenger and said, “Looking at your suitcases, I presume you are a salesperson? I am also one.” 

The gentleman said, “Yes, I am a salesman.” 

Another genteel pause. Then the first passenger asked, “What do you sell?” 

The other replied, “I sell helical gears.” Another decorous silence. Then he asked the first gentleman, “And what do you sell?” 

He said, “I sell condoms.” 

Shocked, the second gentleman said, “You sell condoms and you are taking your son with you on your business? Is that appropriate?” 

“This is not my son,” replied the first passenger. “It’s a complaint from Bristol.” 

Human beings are in a perennial state of complaint. They carry their complaints with them like a badge of their identity. There are many who live their lives lamenting that life has been particularly unfair to them. They cite instances of all the terrible things that have befallen them, the chances they never got, the many injustices they have suffered. Maybe it is even true. 

What most people forget is that the past exists within each one of us only as memory. Memory has no objective existence. It is not existential; it is purely psychological. If you retain your ability to respond, your memory of the past will become an empowering process. But if you are in a compulsive cycle of reactivity, memory distorts your perception of the present, and your thoughts, emotions, and actions become disproportionate to the stimulus. 

The choice is always before you: to respond consciously to the present; or to react compulsively to it. There is a vast difference between the two. And it can make the world of a difference. 

If terrible things have happened to you, you ought to have grown wise. If the worst possible events have befallen you, you should be the wisest of the lot. But instead of growing wise, most people become wounded. In a state of conscious response, it is possible to use every life situation—however ugly—as an opportunity for growth. But if you habitually think, “I am the way I am because of someone else,” you are using life situations merely as an opportunity for selfdestruction or stagnation. 

I once heard a moving account of a woman who used one of the most horrific life situations to transform herself into a beautiful being. In the beginning of the Second World War, a bunch of Nazi soldiers broke into a house in Austria. They took the adults away separately, and the two children—a thirteen-year-old girl and an eight-year-old boy—were taken to a railway station. As they waited along with other children for the train to arrive, the boys started a game. Oblivious to what lay in store, they started playing, as children are wont to do. 

A cargo train arrived and the soldiers started packing everyone into it. Once they were in, the little girl noticed that her brother had forgotten to bring his shoes. It was an Austrian winter, a bitter one. Without shoes, you could lose your feet. The girl lost her temper. She shook her kid brother, boxed his ears, and abused him. “You idiot! Don’t we have enough trouble on our hands? We don’t know where our parents are, we don’t know where we’re going! And now you go and lose your shoes? What am I supposed to do with you?” 

At the next station, the boys and girls were separated. And that is the last that the brother and sister ever saw of each other. 

About three and a half years later, the girl came out of the concentration camp. She discovered she was the only one alive in her family. Everyone else had vanished, including her brother. All that remained was the memory of the harsh words she had uttered the last time she had seen him alive. 

That was when she made a life-changing decision: “It doesn’t matter who I meet, I will never speak to them in a manner that I regret later, because this meeting could be my last.” She could have spent her life in defeat and remorse, but she made this simple decision, which transformed her life phenomenally. She went on to live a rich and fulfilled life. 

The most horrific things in life can be a source of nourishment if you accept, “I am responsible for the way I am now.” It is possible to transform the greatest adversity into a stepping-stone for personal growth. If you take one hundred percent responsibility for the way you are now, a brighter tomorrow is a possibility. But if you take no responsibility for the present—if you blame your parents, your friend, your husband, your girlfriend, your colleagues for the way you are—you have forsaken your future even before it comes. 

You come into this world with nothing and you go empty-handed. The wealth of life lies only in how you have allowed its experiences to enrich you. Filth can blossom into the fragrance of a flower. Manure can transform itself into the sweetness of a mango. No adversity is an impediment if you are in a state of conscious response. No matter what the nature of the situation you are in, it can only enhance your experience of life, if you allow it to. 

Resentment, anger, jealousy, pain, hurt, and depression are poisons that you drink but expect someone else to die. Life does not work that way. Most people take lifetimes to understand this simple truth. 

Now that we have established what responsibility is, it is time to look at what it is not. Let us start by clearing up a few fundamental misconceptions. 

For one, many believe that taking responsibility compromises their freedom. This seems to be logically true, on a simplistic level. Existentially, it is completely off the mark. 

Let us consider a concrete scenario. Your pen falls off a table. If you see you are responsible for it, you have several choices before you. You could simply bend down and pick it up. If you are unable to do that, you could ask someone to help. Or if you aren’t inclined to act on it right now, you might pick it up later. You have a variety of options. 

If, on the other hand, you don’t take responsibility for it, what can you do? Nothing. 

Which is freedom? To have choices or to have none? 

Your logical mind tells you, “Give up all responsibility and you will be free.” But in your experience of life, the more you are able to respond to everything around you, the freer you are! The logical and experiential dimensions of life work in diametrically opposite ways. Logic is not without its uses, but these help only to handle the material aspects of life. If you handle your entire life with logic alone, you will end up a mess. 

Secondly, people often confuse responsibility with reaction. We have already demonstrated earlier that there is a world of difference between the two. The first is born in awareness, the second in unawareness. The first is born in consciousness, the second in unconsciousness. The first is freedom, the second enslavement. 

It is time to make yet another distinction. Responsibility is not reaction but it is not action either. 

Responsibility and action belong to different dimensions. The ability to respond gives you the freedom to act. It also gives you the freedom not to act. It puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. It empowers you to decide the nature and volume of action you want to undertake. Responsibility is not compulsive action; it offers you the choice of action. 

Can you act upon everything in the world today? No, but you can respond to everything in the world today. Action has to be judiciously performed, depending on a careful analysis of resources—strength, capability, energy, age, situation. Your ability to act is always limited, but there are no limitations on your ability to respond. If you are willing, you can respond to just about anything. 

Just because you are responsible for your children, are you able to do everything for them? If you did everything for them, you would mess up their lives. Your sense of responsibility makes you do certain things for them and not do others. So, responsibility does not mean unbridled action. Far from it. 

How, you may ask, are you responsible for the violence and injustice in the world? How are you responsible for the war and the bloodshed, the atrocities against the marginal and the underprivileged, all over the world? Certainly you are not to blame for any of it. But the moment you become conscious of any of these events, you do respond—either in concern, love, care, hate, anger, indignation, or even action. It is just that this is often an unconscious reaction rather than a conscious response. If you make this ability to respond into a willing process, that marks the birth of a tremendous new possibility within you. Your inner genius begins to flower. 

Can you then respond to the moon? You can. Your body and life energies certainly do. When entire oceans rise in response to the cycles of the moon, do you think the water content in your own system doesn’t rise as well? Maybe you aren’t an astronaut; maybe you can never walk on the moon. But you can respond to the moon. In fact, you already do. You can just choose to do it— willingly, consciously. 

And that brings us to the fourth misconception. Many think responsibility means capability. 

Wrong again. When it comes to action, capability could play a role. But when it comes to response, it is just a question of willingness. 

If you see someone dying on the street, are you responsible? 

If you are willing to respond, you will explore various options. If you are a doctor, you will try direct intervention. If you are not, you may call 911. Or if all this is being done by someone else, you will at least have concern in your heart. But if you are not responsible, you will just sit there like a stone watching someone die before your eyes. 

Your ability to respond is the way you are. Only your ability to act is connected with the outside world. Responsibility is not about talking, thinking, or doing. Responsibility is about being. That’s the way life is—not an independent, self-contained bubble but a moment-to-moment dialogue with the universe. You don’t have to work at making it that way. You just have to see it the way it is. 

Let us deepen the exploration. If responsibility is “response-ability,” the capacity to be responsive to situations, let me ask you another question: is your ability to respond limited or limitless? 

Are you capable of responding to a plant? 

You are. 

To a stranger on the street? 

You are. 

To the moon? 

You are. 

To the sun, to the stars? 

You are. 

To the whole cosmos? 

You are. 

In fact, as we have seen, every subatomic particle in your body is responding in a limitless way to the great dance of energies that is the cosmos. The only reason you are not experiencing the life process in all its majesty and profundity is your current state of mental resistance. Your psychological structure is a stone wall. If you are willing, every moment of your life can be a fantastic experience. Just the act of inhaling and exhaling can be a tremendous love affair. 

Why is the mind resisting this? 

Because it is crippled by its own limited logic which says, “Taking responsibility for just two people already gives me a headache. If I take responsibility for the whole world what will happen? I’ll crack up!” 

Through millions of years of evolution, nature has caged you within certain boundaries—this is the human predicament. But this imprisonment is only on the level of biology. On the level of human consciousness, you are like a bird in a cage without a door. What a tragic irony! It is only out of long aeons of habit that you are refusing to fly free. 

Life has left everything open for you. Existence has not blocked anything for anyone. If you are willing, you can access the whole universe. Someone said, “Knock and it shall open.” You don’t even have to knock, because there is no door. It is open. You just have to walk through, that’s all. 

This is the sole purpose of the spiritual process. The life and work of every spiritual guide, across history and across culture, has been just this: to point out that the cage door does not exist. Whether you fly or choose to remain in the limitations of the cage—let that be a conscious choice. 

The possibility of ultimate freedom may seem deeply threatening to many. Yes, it is a threat—but only to your limitations. Do you want to live a life of voluntary self-imprisonment? Limiting your responsibility is to suffocate yourself on various levels—physically, intellectually, and emotionally. Unfortunately, this stifling of life is understood by people as safety, as security. 

Take the case of a seed. If the seed constantly tries to save itself, a new life is impossible. The seed goes through the tremendous struggle of losing what it believes is its identity—losing its safety and integrity and becoming vulnerable —in order to grow into a many-branched leafy tree, abundant in fruit and flower. But without that vulnerability, that voluntary openness to transformation, life won’t sprout. 

One of the biggest problems in the world today is loneliness. It is quite incredible. The planet is teeming with seven billion people, but people are lonely! If someone enjoys being alone, there is no problem at all. But most people are suffering because of it! They are going through serious psychological problems as a consequence. If you are lonely, it is because you have chosen to become an island unto yourself. It doesn’t have to be this way. “I am not responsible” makes you unwilling to get along with anyone—until you can’t even get along with yourself. It often comes to a point when you believe you are not even responsible for what is happening within yourself! 

What the mind forgets is that the ability to respond is the basis of life. If the ability is acknowledged willingly, you become blissful. If it happens unwillingly, you become miserable. 

Being responsible is taking ownership of your life. It means you have taken the first radical step to becoming a complete human being—fully conscious and fully human. In taking responsibility and beginning the journey toward conscious living, you are putting an end to the age-old patterns of assigning blame outward or heavenward. You have begun the greatest adventure life has to offer: the voyage inward. 

This notion of responsibility, as you might have noticed, seems to lead us seamlessly to another word, remarkably similar in its implications. A word we know well. Perhaps much too well. A much-used, much-abused four-letter word. 

Love. 

You know the teachings, of course. All over the world, people have been told that love is the ultimate, love is supreme, love is divine, that we must love our neighbors, and so on. All wonderful teachings. But when you try to become loving, it is difficult and often ends up seeming pretentious. Have you noticed this? It seems easier to not love at all than to try to become loving! 

But to be loving is simply this: a willingness to respond freely and openly. Right now, it may be limited to one or two people in your lives. But it is possible to extend this ability to embrace the entire world. 

Does it mean going out into the streets and hugging everyone? No. That would be crazy—not to mention, irresponsible. As we have said, responsibility is not about action, but a way of being. Love is not something you do; it is just the way you are. 

Right now, you have left one window in your life open—for a few people. You did that because somewhere you understood that if you closed that window, you’d go mad. Your only options would be insanity or suicide. But there is another way to approach this. Does it mean opening another window? Or opening a door? 

Here’s a more effective option: why don’t you just demolish the wall? 

Love has nothing to do with someone else. It is all about you. It is a way of being. It essentially means you have brought sweetness into your emotion. If a loved one travels to another country, would you still be able to love them? You would. If a loved one passed away, would you still be able to love them? You would. Even if a loved one is not physically with you anymore, you are still capable of being loving. So, what is love then? It is just your own quality. You are only using the other person as a key to open up what is already within you. 

Why are you fumbling with keys when there is no lock, when there is no door, when there is no wall? You create illusory walls and doors and then create illusory keys—and then you fumble with the keys! And once you find the key, you are terrified of losing it! 

For most people, love is initially a joy, but after a while it becomes an anxiety. Why? Because this “key” has legs and a will of its own. You can’t keep it in your pocket or hang it around your neck. When you try to do that, two lives are heading straight for disaster! 

Once your joy is on self-start rather than push-start, you have upgraded your technology. You are no longer enslaved to an external source—whether a person or a situation. You are now capable of being loving and blissful without doing anything in particular, just sitting here, no matter how anyone in the outside world behaves. Once you experience this inner freedom, you will never experience insecurity in your life again. And anyway, when you are a truly blissful human being, everyone will naturally want to be around you! Blissfulness means life is happening in an exuberant manner, and that is that all life seeks. 

So, how does one upgrade one’s inner technology? 

We will look at this at length in the following chapters. But a fundamental step would be to recognize consciously just this: “My ability to respond is limitless, but my ability to act is limited. I am one hundred percent responsible for everything I am and everything I am not, for my capacities and my incapacities, for my joys and my miseries. I am the one who determines the nature of my experience in this life and beyond. I am the maker of my life.” 

Absolutely nothing is required—no reaction, no action, no capability—other than being aware of the basic fact that your responsibility is limitless. You could sit in one place and be aware of it. You could walk the street and be aware of it. You could be working, cooking, or even lying in bed, and be aware of it. 

Let me ask you another question: whatever your religion or cultural background, what exactly do you mean when you use the word “God”? 

The forms, the names, the ideas are varied. But essentially, when you say “God,” you mean that which is responsible for everything in the universe. Suppose God said, “I will not be responsible for you.” He is most definitely fired! The very word “God” signifies limitless responsibility. 

So, responsibility is not a teaching in civics. It is the simplest and easiest way for you to express your own divinity. 

The whole effort of the spiritual process is to break the boundaries you have drawn for yourself and experience the immensity that you are. The aim is to unshackle yourself from the limited identity you have forged, as a result of your own ignorance, and live the way the Creator made you—utterly blissful and infinitely responsible. 

After my experience on Chamundi Hill, one thing became clear to me. In life, there is no “this” and “that”; there is only “this” and “this.” This means everything is here and now. The access for everything is here and now. And it lies only in one’s ability to respond—in one’s ability to experience and express the divine. 

There is no “yes” and “no.” There is just “yes” and “yes”! The choice is yours. You can either react to life with “yes” and “no,” which will mean a perpetual division of this existence, which is the basis of repetitive cycles of conflict and misery. Or you can become one big YES to life. 

Limited responsibility is a way of drawing boundaries. What you think you are responsible for will be within your boundary. What you think you are not responsible for will be outside your boundary. But limitless responsibility extends itself way beyond your present level of understanding and perception. There is more—much more—to life than you are aware of right now. Once you choose to become conscious of this simple fact—my ability to respond is limitless—suddenly life within you reorganizes itself in a completely different way. You move into higher and higher levels of freedom within yourself. Life is now a wonderful and exhilarating journey of self-discovery. 

The outside world has seen its share of bloody revolutions. They were violent because there were some people who were willing to change and there were some who were unwilling. But in the inner life, there is only one kind of revolution and it is a silent one. It is about moving from unwillingness to willingness. 

The question is: do you want to be a full-time human being or a part-time human being? If you restrict your ability to respond, the scope and dimension of your experience will be unsurprising, predictable, limited, narrow. But to be an absolutely full-time human being is to be a constant full-blooded response to everything. You don’t have to do anything in particular. You just need to become a willing piece of life in this glorious living cosmos. 

Responsibility is not burdensome. Boundaries are burdensome. If you draw yourself a boundary, whether of ideology, caste, creed, race, or religion, you cannot move beyond it and you end up stuck for no reason at all. These boundaries only end up breeding fear, hatred, and anger. The bigger your boundary, the more burdensome it becomes. But if your responsibility is limitless, where’s the boundary? 

No boundary, no burden. 

This is the turnaround in human consciousness that needs to take place. 

Once this happens, it is not that the cosmos begins to happen your way. Instead, what you are becomes cosmic. 

This is not transcendence; this is homecoming.

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